boyexemplified:

aliens don’t wanna hang out with us because we’re embarrassing and also still capitalist

I think I look pretty hot today considering I’m half naked maybe I’ll get extra points in class today for having amazing boobs

roughness:

tune in tonight for another episode of “is he cute or just tall? am I lowering my standards out of desperation? am I doomed to roam the earth as a lonely, unloved wretch for eternity? would I fuck a 30 year old? would I fuck a broke 30 year old?”

kiango:

when you finally finish reading a 200 page fanfiction and you stumble out of your room and don’t know what’s canon anymore

burgrs:

"as a straight male, i ppbppbpttt hhptpphhptpp hpbptpphptppthpbbphbh"